Neighbor Wars – Episode I

So our neighbors who lived next to us moved out and sold their house in, oh. . . March. We just now had a new family move in. So here’s my issue. They have a dog. A YAPPY dog. It’s a beagle/jack russell terrier mix. Casey loves having a dog next door. And a yappy dog means she is constantly reminded there is somebody right around the corner.

Anyway, I was mowing the lawn last weekend, and found in my yard what? That’s right, a nice little deposit. I could only assume that it was from our friend next door. So last night, we are making dinner, and Kate sees the dog on it’s leash in our front yard and says “Oh that’s nice. They’re letting their dog pee in our yard.”

Me: “Did you say something to them?”
Her: “Well. . . no.”

So I’m rather irate at this point, and I poke my head out the front door, and sure enough – dog in our yard (not doing anything at this point other than strain at the leash and try to get to me). I notice that not only has Princess (yes, that’s really her name) peed in our yard, she’s also left another lovely deposit. So I bend down and pet her and say hello. And as nicely as possible, I say to the lady at the other end of the leash something to the extent of “We’d appreciate it if you didn’t let your dog pee and poo in our yard. That’d be great. Thanks.”

To her credit, she was really nice about it, and apologized. I went back inside to get a bag to pick up the offending poo. And I was plotting with Kate what I would do if this kept up. What would be an appropriate response? Dropping the deposits right back in their yard? Flaming bags of said deposits set on their front porch? I was pretty riled up. I mean, really. HOW FREAKING RUDE.

Anyway, I went outside to pick up the poo, and it had VANISHED. They were nice enough to pick up the poo when they realized that this was actually something that bothers people. So I had to take back all the nasty things I said, and, fortunately for everybody involved, neighbor-wars were averted.

So I’ve determined that I can be pretty mean behind people’s backs and really nice to their faces. I’ve determined that nice wins, and I should start trying to be nice behind their backs as well.

10 thoughts on “Neighbor Wars – Episode I

  1. Maybe she had a can of “VaPOOrize” (from the movie, Envy) on her? You say the poo had VANISHED?

    I’m glad I have a fenced-in back yard. We used to have the neighbor’s kids playing in our yard before we did. There were times I’d go outside to find wads of gum or peanut shells nestled among the grass.

  2. So Pat, what do you say about the rest of us behind our backs? 🙂

  3. So you’re Kevin? THE Kevin Wells? …damn, sorry, man. Hearing what Pat says about you here at the office… uhm… I’m so sorry. 🙁

  4. It is a female dog. But I think your female dog urine story is bunk. I’ve seen Casey kill plenty of grass with her pungent pee. 😉

  5. Tell me about the neighbors. What’s the worst thing in my neighborhood is that we’re all friends that hang out together, so I can’t politely tell my neighbors to not let their dog pee and poop in my FLOWERBEDS. Not just in my yard, but he prefers to pee and poop in mulch, so he chooses my impatients, gerber daisies, hostas, nandinas, etc. Hmmm, I wonder why my plants aren’t doing well. Is it a female dog? Because female dogs’ urine actually makes your grass greener. I kid you not (based on a sample size of 2 female dogs in our cul-de-sac). Male dogs’ urine kills stuff, though. Just educating the world around me.

    Oh, and I know what Pat says behind my back. I have a spy in his house!!! Thanks, Casey.

  6. Yeah – now I’m really nervous. I showed up at the Campbell’s house on Sunday (totally expected & planned), and they greeted me at the door laughing (obviously about something that had been said about ME). Sheesh!

    What I figure is that these new neighbors will be close friends of yours within a month or two, and will eventually be reading your blog and will go through the archives and read all of this stuff that you said about them…. LOL!!

  7. NO! You want to be on good terms with your neighbors, but not super close friends. See Carrie’s post above for problems with that.

  8. Ken, we should talk… Pat likes to talk about his coworkers too. 😉

  9. “It was hot and I was hungry…”

    …whatever Pat tells you, totally untrue!

  10. Yes! Always go for the torched poo on the doorstep, it’ll get’em every time.

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